Q
The Q project originated from the average Vim user’s obsession to use the least keystrokes possible and not using the mouse.
It’s 2020 already and the most common way to save and quit is still
:wq<Enter>, a total of 4 keystrokes. Of course, you can use :x<Enter> or
even ZZ, but that already assumes you’re in normal mode, and guess what,
entering normal mode is already at least 1 character.
Worst best case, it’s still a whopping ~3 keystrokes~ to quit Vim!
Q to the resQ
Luckily, a group of highly skilled, exceptionally intelligent and particularly experienced engineers have designed
and are working on implementation of a solution that will reduce such long and
tedious tasks to exactly 0 keystrokes, without using a mouse.
How?
What’s faster typing :wq? Saying ”q”. What if you would like to quit without
saving instead? Just shout q! instead.
By using short sound classification with a fast deep neural network and real-time voice processing, you can even create your own vim bindings for action such as clapping, slamming the keyboard, or aggressively shutting the door.
Features
- always listening - the FBI man is already listening to you, might as well.
- improves coding performance - imagine the end of a coding interview, they ask you to close the file, your performance is about to get judged and instead of reaching for the keyboard and delaying the interview, you just shout “Que!”. I can’t imagine a situation where you wouldn’t get the job, you saved company time and you’re not even hired yet. Time = money, so you’re techically saving their money.
- increases life expectancy - it eats about 8% of my CPU when running in the background, which also tends to consume the battery life. When you run out of battery, what do you do? Go for a walk, make some food, get some sleep, things that we should be doing to stay alive but often forget to because we get too hang up on programming. Anything is better tha sitting down 8hrs a day without a break, so take a break.
- makes you desirable - by using Q, you’re showing that you’re devoted to your job, that you’re competitive and passionate, performant, and creative. All of the above being extremely desirable by women (and men) these days. So technically, you could say Q is also a personal trainer, dating coach, self improvement guide and a dating app, all at once.
FAQ
Why isn’t this project written in Rust?
We’re currently in the process of migrating our code base to Rust, thank you for your concern.
Is this a spybug?
The short answer is no. The long answer is complicated, so we won’t get into that.
Is this satire?
Of course not.
[Boring] But wait, I don’t use Vim! What now?
Current implementation was tested on Linux, but if you really wanted to, you could always create an issue to discuss and work on implementations on other platforms.
The project itself isn’t a Vim wrapper, it’s a system utility instead, so you could potentially integrate it with your browser, favourite video player, steam game, or even your smart home. Q is just a way to trigger events with short voice commands.