An implementation of clippy.js for FileMaker WebDirect
Clippit, harrassing users inside of my webdirect-font-utility demo file.
Clippit (yes, that's right, Clippit, not "cLiPpY" — see the Wikipedia article) was once a staple (no he wasn't — he's clearly a paperclip) in the Microsoft Office suite of applications.
Based on the now-infamous Microsoft Agent API, Clippit would eventually find his way to being the most-hated anthropomorphized paper fastener in all of modern history. Despite offering useful advice, and shipping with an Animate! function that became a source of deep procrastination for teenagers and office workers with quickly-approaching deadlines, Clippit was removed from all versions of Microsoft Office after Office 2007.
With clippit-for-webdirect, you can diminish the value of the robust UI you've built for your FileMaker databases running on the sleek FileMaker WebDirect platform, by adding Clippit right into the mix!
Yes.
Why not?
Setting-up clippit-for-webdirect is easy! Just follow these simple steps:
- In your existing FileMaker solution, create a new web viewer on your entry layout.
- In the web viewer's URL, paste the contents of
clippit.fmcalc. - Check the option for Automatically encode URL
- Shrink, or visually hide (don't use the "hide object when" option) the web viewer, and hit Save!
- I don't know what comes after this, but it probably isn't good.
Want to make the most out of this awful experience? Of course you do. Why else are you still reading?
You can customize clippit-for-webdirect by making changes to the content of clippit.fmcalc:
To change what Clippit says, add your own messages under the CLIPPIT MESSAGES comment, like this:
/*--- CLIPPIT MESSAGES ---*/
"Let's delete this record for fun!";
You can also change the rate at which Clippit interrupts your users. Edit the value under MESSAGE INTERVAL.
Want Clippit to do tricks? Hell, yeah! Set the value under the ANIMATE INTERVAL comment to anything other than 0.
If you don't trust my server or jQuery's server, you can host your own copies of jQuery and clippit.min.js. Upload to wherever you'd like, and then change the values under STYLESHEET & JS.
I should've been writing invoices instead of working on this.
Is this even worth licensing? MIT, or whatever, yeah...