babytools
These things have worked well for us. We have twin boys, so some of our numbers are higher than normal.
Strategies
Keep all of the robots running all of the time.
It has been supremely important to run the laundry, dish washer, and Roomba regularly and often. You never want to fall behind; this way lies madness. Get used to kicking off a half-full dishwasher or washing machine. Check the robot states at least once a day; maybe twice.
Trade nights.
You are adults. Adults need sleep. Babies need sleep also, but not the same way adults do. Instead of having both of you exhausted and fried from being up all night, trade nights: one adult sleeps with the babies and feeds/soothes/changes them at night, the other sleeps in their own bed with earplugs and an eyemask and sleeps as long as they can. This worked for us as long as they were waking up > 1 time a night each.
If you are exclusively breast feeding, this obviously won't work. In order to maximize sleep, mom wakes up and feeds, dad takes over and changes diaper and soothes baby back to sleep. You're each up for about an hour then sleeping for 2-4.
Pragmatism is a good strategy.
This is probably because we have twins. We don't have time to deal with parental freakouts because they require food and changing and sleeping and soothing all the time. This is great; all of the concerns about nipple confusion and baby classical music and the other crazy stuff goes away. The kids are alright, just be a mammal.
Checklists.
You will be braindead a lot. When you are not braindead, make checklists that you can use when you are braindead. Stuff like "all of the daily chores at home" so when you are fried and awake you can look at it and then go "right, I should take out the trash" instead of just standing in your kitchen drooling.
Tools
Halo Sleep Sack
These things are pretty great and not super fiddly. We have about 4 per baby in a couple of weights. The heavier weight is nice at night or if we go outside and it's windy.
Hand me down clothing
Don't buy baby clothes; get them from friends who desperately want to get rid of them. Bonus: they are already stained, so you can stop worrying about keeping your baby impeccably stylish and start worrying about keeping the robots running and taking naps.
Free breast pump
The Affordable Care Act includes a provision that mandates coverage for a breast pump through your health insurance provider in most cases. This means you can get a free breast pump worth $300. Yummymummy makes the process extremely simple for some insurance providers (ie Atena).
Boon Lawn Countertop Drying Rack
Great for bottle/breastpump part drying. Remember: lots of little fiddly parts.
Oxo Dishwasher Basket
This is how you will wash your bottle nipples, breast pump parts, and other small things.
OXO Tot Bottle Brush
Best bottle brush and bonus! It's a great dish brush for when you're finally out of bottles.
Pampers
We're using disposable diapers for now. Pampers appear to be the best as far as ease of use at 3AM and lowest amount of blow outs. Our hospital used them as well.
Microfiber cloths
We got a bunch of soft microfiber cloths to keep at the changing table. Useful for drying bottoms (a dry bottom is a non-chafing bottom!) and cleaning up assorted messes.
Changing Pad
Extra changing pad covers
We bought a bunch of them. You want to be able to wash them easily.
Keekaroo Diaper Changer
Alternate option to changing pad with covers. This is great for putting on top of a dresser. You won't need any covers as it cleans super easy.
Nursing pillow
If you plan on breastfeeding, it's good to have a nice supportive pillow.
Chicco Keyfit 30
We like the Chicco because they are lightweight, easy to use, and easily fit 2 to a back seat. We got this frame to convert it to a twin stroller.
Munchery
Delivery++. For us, this has meant we've eaten better than take out food when we've been fried and in-between friend and family food drops.
Painters tape (the blue stuff)
We keep a roll of this next to the fridge along with a Sharpie and use it to label bottles (what they contain and the date/time they were put into the fridge so we know when we need to toss them and what we're feeding the kids).
BabyConnect
You'll almost certainly need or want to track something about your baby. For us, it's been meals and diapers. You may want or need to track something else. Using a paper log book is totally fine; we're nerds and have 4 adults caring for 2 babies so being able to track easily and being able to know things like "Right, I'm 30 minutes from home, the babysitter leaves in 60, and the boys ate 2 hours ago" is actually useful. It appears that all of the baby tracking apps suck; this one just sucks much less than the others and supports good stuff like multiple users for each child and has iOS and Android support.
Tactical Baby Gear diaper backpack
We recently upgraded from the DadGear diaper backpack and we're thrilled. Nicer to carry and fits @ferlatte at 6'3". It's really nice to have a backpack instead of a bag. As a bonus, here's our packing list for the diaper bag.
High Contrast Mobile
At around 1-2 months the common issues(hungry, wet or sleepy) weren't fixing our baby's frustration. We did notice that a high contast mobile was a huge hit. At this age babies can't see very well so the cards range from black and white to basic high contrast colors. It's one of the few things that held interest/attention for more than 10 minutes and has a bonus in helping physical/visual development.
First Aid kit
A nurse friend gave us a great basic first aid kit designed for people without formal medical training.
Books
Most baby books are terrible.
Don't read them if you value your sanity. Really. But there are a few that we've found useful.
Expecting Better
Great book to read while you are pregnant. Otherwise don't read pregnancy books, they will make you crazy. And don't read online forums either, for the love of god.
The Happiest Baby on the Block
Everyone will tell you to read this. They are not wrong. Really there are 2 pages' worth of gold in this book, which is telling you how to soothe your seemingly inconsolable baby. The rest is gravy.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Recommended by Janet, our awesome pediatrician. Great info about getting kids to sleep and keeping them well-rested. There's a twin version too.
Bringing up Bébé
Joy liked this book more than Mark did, but it's a pretty interesting take on pragmatic parenting.
Things I wish I knew.
Babies make a lot of noises that sound like they are dying.
They aren't dying. They are fine. They just sound like they are choking, or breathing hard, or not breathing, or having a heart attack, or being attacked by space goblins. They will make these noises when sleeping and when awake.
This means that even though they are sleeping 2 hours out of every 3, you won't be, because every time they make a noise you will wake up.
The not sleeping starts before the baby is born.
Pregnancy is uncomfortable. There will be lots of trips to the bathroom and interrupted sleep. This will come as a surprise, and means that you'll be starting the infant care process already in sleep debt. Say goodbye to hippocampus function and nap as much as you can.