devbisme / birthday_bromides

A bromide for every year I've been alive!

Birthday Bromides

Here's a bromide for every year I've been alive!

1. A smile or a high-speed piece of metal can completely change your life.

2. A compass and a direction beats an outdated map.

3. Pack well and travel light.

4. Machines should be productive and people should be perceptive.

5. Success needs everything to go right, failure just one that doesn't.

6. Your story may not be a big one, so make it a good one.

7. Wanting to appear smart will make you avoid new things where you might look dumb.

8. On her deathbed, my mom said "I spent too much of my life worrying about shit that never happened."

9. Eat dessert first since one or both of you may not be around later.

10. I've ignored almost every good piece of advice I've gotten.

11. I've also ignored almost every bad piece of advice I've gotten.

12. Society rewards performing more than providing.

13. Some of the best gifts come wrapped in black.

14. If you have a pet, a bit of each day will be spent handling piss, shit and puke.

15. A lot of it is luck, but you have to be prepared for it.

16. Find the best quality of your wife and imitate the hell out of it until it becomes part of you.

17. For something everyone says they don't want, we seem to be real good at finding wars.

18. Don't argue with crazy people: they aren't bound by logic and they never sleep.

19. You'll never go wrong telling the people around you that you love them.

20. Politics is a waste of time, but people aren't.

21. As the Fixx said: "One thing leads to another".

22. Take care of your teeth; you'll need them a lot longer than you think.

23. Giving a great gift is more fun than getting one.

24. If you act happy, you'll often be happy.

25. If someone says "be better", it usually means "be more like me".

26. You have no idea the shit other people are going through.

27. People want to be heard but they don't want to listen.

28. The French really nailed the whole national motto thing: "Liberté, égalité, fraternité".

29. Life would be better if more things had creamy fillings.

30. Listening should be your default state.

31. "If you can't get out of it, get into it." - Unknown"

32. Skip the strained analogies and just make your case directly.

33. Don't take narratives from strangers.

34. Even if you can reason about computers, don't assume you can reason about anything else.

35. Signaling stops when the virtues get real.

36. After food, water and shelter, what most people need to go on living is the right stories.

37. History repeats, but the trick is selecting the right piece of history.

38. When uncertain, err on the side of imagination.

39. The public sphere is all show ponies and no plow horses.

40. Don't raise a puppy and expect to get a cat.

41. Freedom isn't about what you can do, it's about what you don't have to do.

42. Every year, I re-read this: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person

43. We are victims of our expectations of other people's expectations.

44. "Compliant" and "complaint": so similar yet so different.

45. We're all the same, just with different start times and initial conditions.

46. Conspiracy theorists are optimists because they think someone is actually in control.

47. Old boss, new boss, same boss.

48. The strongest cell is the one we build ourselves.

49. The easiest way to pull a muscle is to have a cat step on your nuts at 4 AM.

50. There are no heroes, but there are heroic acts.

51. You'll call someone a genius if they made a lot of money and still return your calls, but one who doesn't is just "lucky".

52. A lot of people considered dumb are really just disliked.

53. Lots of things are like doing drywall: don't waste time trying to make the first pass look perfect.

54. From "The A-Team": "Be happy. It disconcerts the enemy."

55. At some point we have to accept that not all of us are going to make it.

56. Whenever I read an Andy Weir novel I think: "This could have just been a spreadsheet."

57. Whenever I see a line at White Castle, I wonder if people know they can make a hamburger. It's not that hard.

58. Tell your sad stories infrequently and succinctly.

59. The good thing about old-style TV was that it only took 3 seconds to figure out nothing good was on.

60. I don't know what you've got in your package, but I know I'm not signing for it!

61. Are successful people the ones who can wait the longest before eating the marshmallow, or the ones who replace the toilet roll?

62. People who say "This person has some good ideas but I don't follow them anymore because of their position on X" also think if they have one slice of bread, then they need to eat the whole loaf.

63. Don't live your life expecting a diamond to fall out of your ass one day.

64. The best tell that you're under the influence of a narrative is if you're sure you're not.

65. Be careful what you own because eventually it will own you.

66. "Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it." - Unknown

67. Your mom and dad said you could be whatever you choose. Do your best not to choose "dumbass".