No way to simulate shitty customer service?

[Charlie Strawn]

more of a feature request than an issue

[Dan Blanchard]


[Kel Cecil]

This could be implemented by simulating the magical modem refresh signal that causes your connection to drop for 5 minutes followed by going back to EXACTLY how it was before or worse. Repeat three to four times for maximum effect.

[Peter Bourgon]

[Michael McMillan]

[Connor Peet]

Perhaps create a way to detect when VOIP (e.g., Skype) calls are started - both incoming and outgoing (we must spread the love, of course). When either of these occurs, the following may happen to the initiator:

• They are sent in a recursive phone menu, where they shall burn for eternity attempt to select the correct combination which they can use to escape (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42).
• They are put on hold for a minimum of twenty minutes before being permitted to connect. The hold music is the Nyan Cat tune. At two to four minute intervals, the music pauses for ten seconds in order to make the caller think that the call is finally going through. Before we crush their hopes and dreams.
• They are told the department has closed, the call is ended, and the "ban" is stored until a prime-numbered calendar date. Upon that date the ban has a one in four chance of being cleared, and if it is not cleared, we wait until the next prime-numbered date to try again.
• When the caller attempts to end the call, they are not permitted to leave until they purchase an upgrade to their existing service. They'll be billed for twice the advertised cost at the end of the month.
• They are told that they must pay for the bandwidth used for the call at the rate of $0.50 per kb of data (to relieve network congestion), or their chat will be lagged by thirty seconds. When this event occurs, it remains in effect until the caller pays the fee.

[Philippe Desmarais]

[Zeal Wierslee]

Repo owner has not responded to this issue yet. I think that counts.