20230621
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David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink
Its a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff Said the bartender. Just call me Hoff the actor replied Sure the bartender said No hassle
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Capital Letters Are Important
Capital letters can be just as important as commas and full-stops. For example, the sentence: Let's help your Uncle Jack off his donkey does not mean the same as Let's help your uncle jack off his donkey.
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Last month a girl broke up with me because I couldnt get erect.
She recently sent me a message to apologise for the way she went about it. I said Its all good, no hard feelings.
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A Wolf and a Hare are being drafted into the army.
The Hare goes in first to be tested. An officer shows him a pistol: O: What's that? H: I don't know. O (showing him an assault rifle): What's that? H: I don't know. O (showing him a grenade): What's that? H: I don't know. O (showing him a brick): What's that? H: Why, that's a brick. O: Very well, you're assigned to the engineer battalion. The Hare goes out, the Wolf asks: W: Hey, Long-Ears, where did they send you? H: Engineer battalion. W: Nice. Listen, I want to go there as well. What should I do? H: Whatever they show you, say you don't know what it is. When they show you a brick, say it's a brick. The Wolf goes in: O (showing him a pistol): What's that? H: I don't know. O (showing him an assault rifle): What's that? H: I don't know. O (showing him a grenade): What's that? H: I don't know. O: (exasperated) Listen, is there something you do know? W: You've got a brick here somewhere. O: To the recon teams!
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Two older couples were having breakfast.
Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night Old man 2: What's its name? Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower? Old man 2: Carnation? Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns. Old man 2: Rose? Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Heisenberg was pulled over by a highway patrolman.
Cop: Do you know where you are? Heisenberg: California, on a freeway. Cop: That's right. Speed limit here is 65. Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg: No, officer. Cop: 95 miles per hour! Heisenberg: Oh great. Now I don't know where I am.