20230619

[github-actions]

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A penguin is driving to the mall when all of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood..
Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. The penguin says, Have you had time to look at my engine? The mechanic says, Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal. The penguin says, No No, that's just ice cream.

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An old man was relaxing at a nude beach with his hat over his crotch
A young lady passing by whistled at him and said, If you were a gentleman, youd lift that hat! Old man: If you were pretty, it would lift itself!

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A recruiter said to a candidate, 'In this job, we need someone who is responsible'
The job applicant replies, I am the one you want. In my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible. XD

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Two men were washed ashore during WWI.
Their ship, an aging minesweeping model, had wrecked off the coast of an uninhabited island. As the older veteran worked to build a makeshift camp, the younger soldier managed to salvage a radio, and quickly telegraphed an SOS with their coordinates. To their surprise, a ship responded within the hour, confirming that it could arrive at their position in approximately two weeks. The old vet sighed and shook his head, saying he'd rather take his chances swimming out to the wrecked ship and trying to repair it. The young soldier scoffed. You'd really rather play with that old mine craft all day? The older man shrugged. It's better than a fortnight.