20230608

[github-actions]

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An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker club bar
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy . do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, No . not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

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There was once a rich merchant .
.who owned a slave named Manuel who was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings. This merchant would often have his slave negotiate trade deals, very much to the merchants profit. This was the case because it was a well-known fact of that. Nobody reads the owner's Manuel.

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The murder trial
I finished a murder trial, I was representing the defendant. The only defence I had was that there was no body found. I knew I was going to lose the case, so for my closing argument, I looked at my watch and I told the jury the victim is going to walk through that door in a minute. The entire jury looked over at the door waiting for the person to walk through. Of course, the person did not walk through. I then told the jury, look, you had to have had some reasonable doubt that my client did it because you were waiting for the victim to walk through the door. Thats it, that was my closing argument. Well, guess what? The jury came back with a guilty verdict. I asked the jury after, and I said you all looked at the door. The jury said Yeah, we all did look at the door. But guess who did not? Your client.

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When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.
Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans. She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she had opened the shoebox, apologizing profusely. Bill said it was okay, but Hillary asked him, what are the beer cans for? Bill replies Hillary, every time I was unfaithful to you, I drank a beer and promised never to do it again. Hillary is taken aback, but not surprised. She thought well there was Monica, maybe one other woman, I guess that's not too bad. It's all good. He was the president and had some flings here and there. She then asks Bill what's all the cash for? Bill says well, every time the box got full, I took it to the recycling center for the deposit.

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The intelligent blonde
A blonde enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest blonde in the world. Watch while I prove it to you. The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the blonde over and asks, Which do you want? The blonde takes the quarters and leaves. What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns! Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same blonde coming out of the ice cream parlor. Hey there, may I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? The blonde licked her cone and replied: Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!