20230601

[github-actions]

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A lone cowboy nobody knew walks into a mining town bar..
He orders two drinks which he downs slowly. When he was done with his drinks, he paid the bartender and walks out to see that his horse with all his stuff is missing. He turns around, walks back in the bar, pulls his guns from his holster and shoots them in the air. Which ever one of you cow dung stole my horse better have it back by the time I finish my next drink, other wise I am going to have to do what I did in Texas. And trust me, I don't want to ever do that again. He walks back to the bar, gets another drink, and slowly drinks it. The people in the bar started murmuring, talking amongst themselves and looking at the stranger with fear in their eyes. The stranger finishes his drink, walks out and his horse was there where he left it. He got up on it, when the bartender and the bar patrons ran out after him. The bartender said Mister, we are sorry for what happened. But please tell us what happened in Texas after somebody stole your horse? The stranger looked at him and said, I had to walk home.

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A woman Walks Into A Butchery Just Before Closing and Asks, 'Do You Still Have Chicken?'
The Butcher Opens His Deep Freezer, Takes Out The Only Chicken Left and Puts It On The Scale, And It Weighed 1.5 kg. The Woman Looks At The Chicken and At The Scale And Asked, Do You Have One That's a Bit Bigger Than This One? The Butcher Puts His Only Chicken Back Into The Freezer, and Then Takes It Out Again, But This Time When He Puts It On The Scale; He Craftily Keeps His Thumb on The Scale Pan And The Scale Now Showed 2 kg That's Wonderful, Said The Woman. I'll Take both Chickens, please!

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Not my joke, but I've only heard it in brazilian portuguese (I'm brazilian)
Two schizophrenic guys are in a mental hospital, one of them points to the clock and asks Is this thing working as it is suposed to?, the other says If it were it wouldn't be here