20230525

[github-actions]

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Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, Joe?' 'Yes, Father Whos the gal you were with?' 'I wont tell, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' Was it Jane marlow? I cant say.' 'Was it Tami Jones?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Kim Dixon or Kate James?' 'My lips are sealed. The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for a month. Joe walks back to his pew, and his friend Jordan whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'A month's vacation and four excellent Leads.'

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I joined a local scat group on Facebook recently who said they were having a meet up
Once I showed up and saw what they were doing to each other, I realized my mistake and skiddy-be-bop-a-dod out of there as fast as I could.

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So a chicken walks into a library and says , bock. Sounding like book the librarian hands him a book. He takes it and goes happily on his way. Then the next day.
The chicken says bock bock, and the librarian hands him two books. Away he went. The third day, chicken says bock bock bock, and the librarian hands him three books. And so on until the fifth day, when the chicken says bock bock bock bock bock, the librarian hands him five books and follows him to see what he's doing with all these books. There is a frog sitting across the way that the chicken takes the books to. The librarian, confused but curious, continues to follow the chicken. The chicken approaches the frog, says bock bock bock bock bock, places the five books into the frogs hands. The frog responds by tossing each book aside one by one, reddit reddit reddit reddit reddit!

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A vegan is at the entrance of a university campus trying to get others to become vegan
He sees an angry and disappointed kid walking out of the campus, and takes the opportunity to ask if they want to become vegan. You know who else was vegan? the angry kid responds. Adolf Hitler. And I just got kicked out of art school right now, so Im not taking any risks.

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A Teacher wants to do a little Quiz with her Students.
Teacher:Guess what this is, which animal has a Beak and Feathers? Random Student:A Duck! Teacher:Thats right, but it could also be a Goose. Next question, which animal has Claws and Fur? Random Student:A Dog! Teacher:Thats right, but it could also be a Cat. A Boy steps infront of the Teacher:Now i have a question for you. Teacher:Sure go ahead. Boy:Whats this?? First its Long, Hard and Dry, then you stick it into something warm and soft, after some repeated motion its soft, short and wet? The Teacher immediatly slaps the Boys face. The Boy smiling says:Thats right, but it could have been a Chewing Gum!

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I saw a posting for a local scat group and decided to check them out
It was clear the moment I walked in the door I had made a mistake, but never being one against new experiences I pulled out a stool and joined them

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A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy..
The man says, Who would ever miss the World Cup final? The guy replies, Well that was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away. That's terrible but that's so sweet of you to still reserve a seat for her. The man says back, Couldnt you get another close family member to come with you? The guy says, No. They're all at the funeral.

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It's alright, Steve
Doctor: It's okay, Steve. It's just a simple operation Patient: Umm. my name's Dave Doctor: I know, my names Steve.

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BMW Recall
In an unprecedent move and after many complaints from non BMW owners, BMW has recalled their entire fleet of vehicles to assess the electrical fault that prevents indicators from flashing.