20230516

[github-actions]

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A stoner rubs a bong and a genie comes out, offering three wishes.
The stoner says, ok for my first wish, I want a six inch joint. And poof! A joint appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. For my second wish, I want a 12 inch blunt! And poof! A blunt appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. Ok now for my third wish, I want an 18 inch monster roll with a THC-concentrate core! And poof! The biggest blunt you've ever seen appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. Finally the genie gets up and slowly starts to stagger away. Then he stops, turns his head, and with a stoney grin says, ok man, one more wish

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Putin is being driven down the street in his limo
And he sees a family on the side of the road eating grass. He tells his driver to pull over and he gets out of the limo and approaches the husband. What are you doing? Why is your family eating grass?he asks. Oh, Mr President, the man says Since the war in Ukraine began I've been thrown out of work and this is all we can afford now. Well, that won't do. says Putin, You can come my dacha and eat all you want! From my family I thank you says the man in tears. Yes, you'll love it, says Putin. The grass is up to my knees there.

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Max has been working as a garment cutter for over 30 years for the same small company.
He had never been late once. One day he shows up for work two hours late with blood running from his lip and nose. His clothes are a mess, he's limping terribly, and looks to be in a lot of pain. The boss asks him, So Max, why are you late? Max breathlessly answers, As I was going down the stairs at my subway station, two men attacked me. The beat me severely, stole my money, and pushed me down the stairs The boss replies, And that took two hours?

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Tom, a successful Real estate developer was 65 and just married Candy, 44 years his junior
After they came back from their honeymoon they did a party for all of their friends. At the party one of Tom friends asked him: Hey man I know you got money and all but how did you land a woman so good looking and so young? Tom replies: well, to be honest I lied about my age and health His friend said: Age? Please, you can barely pass off as a 60 year old and you look okay but you dont look fit, you dont even exercise regularly Tom: No, I told her I was 85 and Had an advanced heart condition which could kill me at any moment.