Nurble Nurble improves political speeches! It replaces every word which is not a noun with the word nurble.
This is a Ruby implementation of the idea in this edition of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - all credit to Zach Weiner!
ruby nurble_nurble.rb <input file>
Input should be plain text. I am not responsible for what my regular expressions do to you if you feed them anything else...
If you don't have a political speech handy, Nurble Nurble will spit out a handy sample speech for you. In case you can't even be bothered to go that far (or you don't know how to use Ruby), here's an example from Barry Goldwater's 1964 speech at the 28th Republican National Convention
To my good friend and great Republican, Dick Nixon, and your charming wife, Pat; my running mate and that wonderful Republican who has served us well for so long, Bill Miller and his wife, Stephanie; to Thurston Morton who has done such a commendable job in chairmaning this Convention; to Mr. Herbert Hoover, who I hope is watching; and to that great American and his wife, General and Mrs. Eisenhower; to my own wife, my family, and to all of my fellow Republicans here assembled, and Americans across this great Nation.
From this moment, united and determined, we will go forward together, dedicated to the ultimate and undeniable greatness of the whole man. Together we will win.
nurble nurble nurble FRIEND nurble nurble nurble nurble DICK NIXON nurble nurble nurble nurble WIFE nurble PAT nurble nurble RUNNING MATE nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble BILL MILLER nurble nurble WIFE nurble STEPHANIE nurble nurble THURSTON MORTON nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble JOB nurble nurble nurble CONVENTION nurble nurble MR. HERBERT HOOVER nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble WIFE nurble GENERAL nurble MRS. EISENHOWER nurble nurble nurble nurble WIFE nurble nurble FAMILY nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble FELLOW REPUBLICANS nurble nurble nurble nurble AMERICANS nurble nurble nurble NATION nurble nurble nurble MOMENT nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble nurble GREATNESS nurble nurble nurble MAN. nurble nurble nurble nurble